NOTES for Co1 7:12-13

In our time Paul's words about marriage are no less relevant now than they were in the first century AD. In modern society, being a believer is more laughable and strange than normal. And this can coexist quite well with formal respect for the Bible. Yes, sometimes one can refer to it on occasion and this will even evoke respect, but a person who builds his life in accordance with Scripture sooner or later will feel the puzzled looks, and that at best, of acquaintances and colleagues. Our faith still remains a stumbling block and foolishness even for the closest people, the members of our family. Unfortunately, sometimes this lack of understanding begins to destroy the family from within, and the believer's own role in this is not so small. At first we rush to convert our husband or wife, pouring out arguments and quotations from the Bible with all the heat of our heart, forgetting that each person's path to God is individual; there are no laws and rules here. It is a personal conversation, and even a husband or wife is superfluous in it. And then, if our close person is not converted that very second, we become angry with him, and then we wall ourselves off and withdraw.

But in fact these words about marriage are only part of the apostle's main appeal: "Let each one remain before God in the calling in which he was called." It is hard for Christians to live in this world; there are too many temptations and distractions. One very much wants to shut oneself up in a narrow circle of friends who understand and are close in spirit, to pretend that the world does not exist. But Christ, through Paul's lips, calls us to go into the world, not away from the world. So that we, remaining there, in that very place in life where we met God, may carry the Good News into the world, the News of the Resurrection. So that by our life we may bear witness that one can live differently, not competing and defeating, but loving and forgiving. And this includes our family.

Why Paul insists that families, where one of the spouses is Christian, should be by possibility saved, even if the other party is far away from faith? Of course, one could have been able to explain everything with the value of the family as such, and the will to save this very family, if only there is just a small chance. One could remember the ban of divorce, about which the Savior Himself speaks about. But indeed, this ban concerns only the Christians themselves. Even the Torah, in principle admits divorce, although in particular cases, and not too willingly. As for the gentiles, there are also no problems here from the point of view of the Torah: although the Torah recognizes as a reality the marriage between gentiles, it doesn’t impose in this case of course any prohibitions and restrictions on divorce. But why with all this the apostle all the same insists on the fact that it is necessary if possible to save the marriage between a Christian and a non believer (or the opposite)?

According to his own words, the main task of the Christian in such situation is to introduce the other partner in marriage to the life of the Kingdom. Of course, witness plays here an immense role. But witness in particular in the family turns out the most complex task, and if, according to the words of the Savior, it is sometimes particularly difficult for the prophet in his home town and in his own house, then His words are completely also applicable to the Christian witness. But indeed, Christianity is not a religion, to which it is necessary to turn, but the life, which it is necessary to join.

The main thing here is not to change the conception of the world of the husband (wife), but to make him (her) feel what that is the Kingdom. This very Kingdom, which in normal case is always present in the life of the Christian. And which in the normal case Christian can always share with the one who is near. Well then the result can turn out the most unexpected. And the family, in which a Christian was initially one of the two, can become really Christian.

Reflecting on the life of the Kingdom, Paul comes to the conclusion that everyone is fit for it, regardless of social status (v. 24). Such a conclusion is natural: if the Kingdom, according to the Savior's word, is "not of this world," then neither a Christian's material nor social position can in any way affect his life in this Kingdom. But it can affect the possibility of bearing witness to the Kingdom. If, for example, one spouse, after conversion, considers it possible to break off relations with his or her other half simply because relations with him or her have stopped being important, such a breakup will naturally become not witness but anti-witness: the rejected husband or rejected wife in that case may reasonably conclude that the new life of the converted spouse is not for them. That is why the apostle apparently considers it necessary for the convert to remain in the family, provided the other spouse does not object and does not demand divorce (vv. 12-16).

For one who has turned to Christ, the family should, as far as possible, be a place of witness and not anti-witness. In the same way, any other human position can become either witness or anti-witness. Thus, for example, the apostle urges both Jews ("the circumcised") and recent pagans converted to Christ to remain what they are, and to do so quite openly (vv. 18-20). The religious differences between Jews and recent pagans were often striking, but their spiritual unity within one community could become the best witness to the reality of the Kingdom, for which religious differences are secondary. The impossibility and absence of this unity, by contrast, would become anti-witness, only confirming that Christianity is not life in the Kingdom at all, but merely one more new religion, no better, though perhaps no worse, than any other.

Of course, there can also be situations in which it would be worth trying to change the position in which one finds oneself. Paul, for example, is firmly convinced that legal dependence is not the best option, and he suggests that slaves free themselves from the condition of slavery if possible (v. 21). The point is not that, being a slave, a person cannot be a resident of the Kingdom (vv. 22-23), but that a free person has more opportunities to bear witness to this Kingdom than a slave does. Of course, a slave can sometimes have more spiritual freedom than someone who is legally free, but formal legal freedom can nevertheless become an earthly image of the spiritual freedom of the residents of the Kingdom, and the apostle suggests not missing the chance to obtain this outward freedom if such a chance appears.